Vayeize - Family matters - the women´s voice

 

This is a short devar Toire without my usual citations and sources.

If u like this format, pm me, so I know what to write.

 

In Vayeize, we read the story of Yaacovs flight from Lavan’s slavery. For, as much as he said otherwise, Lavan used Yaacov as a cheap labor, very similar to a slave.

Due to Yaacov’s situation, and his love for Rachel, he was prone to be exploited by Lavan.

Now, after 21 years of being constantly misled and not paid, and after finally his beloved Rachel received Yosef, it is time for Yaacov to leave. And he is told so in a prophetic dream, by his Creator Himself.

But then, something remarkable occurs: We would have thought that Yaacov would just have  commanded his wives and kids to pack up, and left. But this is not what unfolds.

We are told that Yaacov called his wives Rachel and Lea to come to the meadows where he was working with the sheep, far away from any intruding ear. There they sat, probably around a fire with some nice tea and food, and he started with a long explanation. Starting with all he did for their father Lavan, how he toiled and worked and guarded his Shwiegers best interests summer and winter, against wild beasts and all eventualities. And so on. Then he told them his dream, and HaShems command to finally return home.

All this, what for?

Wasn’t he the boss in his house? Did he need their approval? What do we learn here from holy Scripture?

Exactly! You got it! Yaacov is NOT the lone Chief In The House. He is exactly NOT what non-jewish propagandists across thousands of years trumpeted into the world.

In our holy tradition, there is a balance of home and work. And home is the woman’s domain. And even more, women are exempt from time-dependent commandments, but they are NOT inferior to men.

And so, Yaacov had to sit with his wives in a decision-making meeting to get clearance from them for what was going to happen next with their children and their household.

For, without his house, his wives and his children, Yaacov would only have been a wild Ass, lonely, lost, and insignificant.

Only his house he was building on the foundation of his wives made of him who he was, and was going to be.

And his wives were the ones who educated his children in their tender ange. Only slowly, he would get involved to teach them tora and mitzvot.

This is the first lesson I feel is important at this time.

A further lesson, on a little different note:

Yaacovs house was all but free form conflicts. His two wives, only by the manner he acquired them, were in a difficult competitive relationship with each other and towards Yaacov.

Leah, due to the fact that she played along with Lavan´s treachery, and even though Rachel helped her and supported the move, still was to Yaacov a strange wife. He did not want her in the first place. He accepted her, after learning all the details, and seeing what would have awaited her, had she not married him (namely to be forcibly married to Eisov (Esau)).

And, after her giving birth to 7 children, Yaacov certainly understood, that this marriage was made in Heaven.

Actually, Alexander Baran from Essen points to the following sequence of events:

The first child is named for Leah´s hope to be seen.

The second, to be heard.

The third, to be close, to be accompanied.

The fourth, there is no more mention of Yaacov, but a thankfulness to HaShem.

We see here a continuous process of getting closer and closer, until, at the fourth child, she feels accepted and loved.

And still, even after all her children, Leah is less loved.

We see this in the following posuk:

בראשית ל"א:ד'

(ד) וַיִּשְׁלַ֣ח יַעֲקֹ֔ב וַיִּקְרָ֖א לְרָחֵ֣ל וּלְלֵאָ֑ה הַשָּׂדֶ֖ה אֶל־צֹאנֽוֹ׃

Yaacov calls out to Rachel and Leah. Not to Leah and Rachel.

Rashi mentions here, that even Boaz, a descendent of Yehudo, Leah´s fourth, mentions Rachel before Leah, acquiescing Rachels superior position in Yaacov´s eyes.

 

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